Lone Survivor

Hello there reader, I know it has been an awfully long time since my words have issued forth from the page into your brains, and I am truly sorry for this hiatus.  I can sit here and type and type apologies till I'm blue in the fingers, but we both know what will really make this long over due reunion better, and that is of course a new review.  Let's not celebrate just yet, we have plenty of time for that.  Now, sadly Lone Survivor is not the first new movie I've seen since my most recent review some time ago, however, Lone Survivor is that one new film I've seen which literally left me incapable of holding in my thoughts just for me.  I want to take this review to the top of a mountain and shout for the world to hear: see this film.  Now would be a good time to celebrate....

YAY!

As we are all aware by now, I am a huge fan of most everything military.  Not sure where this started other than my becoming aware of how B.A. these men and women are.  Another thing I love is a good action movie, but more importantly, one which seems necessary to make, and no the Expendables does not fall into that category, I'm talking more like Tora! Tora! Tora!  Lone Survivor is the most recent epic undertaking by 'Marky' Mark Wahlberg which falls nicely within both categories.  What I mean by epic, is that it has occurred to me that Wahlberg seems to love taking film roles in which he has to do something outrageous in the pre-production stages, whether it's altering his body or learning how to fight or shoot.  Case in point: The Fighter, Pain & Gain, and most recently Lone Survivor.

 You can take reality from us, but you can never take our IMAGINATION!!!!!

Lone Survivor is no exception to this trend, and couldn't be since it is based on an actual Navy SEAL operation: Red Wings.  Wahlberg and his fellow actors, Ben Foster, Emile Hirsch and Taylor Kitsch, all underwent modified SEAL-esque training with real M4 rifles and live rounds, something like 1,000 bullets per actor per week.  That my friends is called dedication and one awesome day in the sun.  Needless to say, this hands-on approach, as well as the fact every scene was shot under the guidance of active SEALS, really lent itself to make Lone Survivor quite the realistic epic heart-pounder it set out to be, and was truly born to be.  Here I was thinking Acts of Valor was so intense, well let me tell you, Lone Survivor had a much more personal feel to the story, made all the more difficult to endure with actual actors at the helm. 

One thing to help ensure the realism was the fact that these actors were actually putting themselves into the role.  They took the tumbles and falls as best they could, and this was evident from the excellent placement of the cameras.  Without overly relying on small GO-PRO cameras this film was shot using the standard Hi-Def cameras of today's film age.  One thing to help this was the dedication and attention to detail from Director Peter Berg.  Berg has been behind some other large scale action films: Battleship, The Rundown, Hancock.  His passion for this genre goes a long way with his story-telling ability.

As for the story one could say that Lone Survivor tugged at the heart strings while slamming its accelerator pedal all the way to the floor and never letting up.

 Bring these, you'll need them.

This is no easy feat to accomplish, as I have mentioned in prior reviews.  Again this is due to the fact that real life doesn't always offer a perfect arc for characters or story, and is often disjointed.  Now I am no fool with this aspect reader, I know that Lone Survivor the film doesn't follow the book and reality down to the 'T', but what it does is takes the story and makes it understandable, as well as less complicated.  Military actions and protocol don't always follow the rules of normality, this would make a film version of reality very difficult to follow, and inevitably leave the audience searching for answers which will never present themselves.  Fluidity rules the film world people.

I spend so much time discussing acting or camera angles, blah-dee-blah, but with Lone Survivor the realism truly hits you where it hurts, and nothing more so than the make-up/special effects.  This team of studs had their work cut-out for them, and went above and beyond answering that call.

Some of Mark Wahlberg's boo-boo's.

This is just a teeny-tiny taste of what they put together to aid this story, and in some cases did things which make the skin crawl.  Not to mention all the numerous gun shot wounds, swollen eyes, punctured lungs, shrapnel in the legs and tons and tons of blood; enough to make Stanley Kubrick proud. 

Final Words: Large Popcorn
This film was more than I ever expected.  I was literally floored from start to finish and thinking back on it, I'm still blown away.  I'm not saying that Lone Survivor is an award winner, but it certainly deserves yours and the remainder of the world's attention.  This is not a film by any means appropriate for the young, and if you are prone to emotional outbursts, than this film will trigger that to the max.  Again, bring those tissues.  

Until next time, happy viewing!

Review Rating based on popcorn sizes: small, medium, large, extra-large; 

films worth skipping get snore...zzzzz

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Okay, so I did something stupid, or so I believe.  Wait back up, let's say I did two things stupid, just to cover my buns.  For starters, I had this grand notion in mind that I could simply walk into a movie theater one weekend, sit down, and understand what it is I'm seeing on the screen; I was wrong.  I am a statistic: people who have not read Hunger Games the book.  I am another statistic as well: people who watched Hunger Games 2 and didn't understand the relevance or significance of the story line.  There, I said it.  Worst of all is the fact that I did this the weekend before a big holiday, thus giving us stupid mistake numero dos (that means number 2), not giving myself enough time to write this earlier.  What follows is my own experience with hunger and a deadly game.

There is one thing for sure about Catching Fire, it was very well put together.  Not knowing the characters from the written word, I can only assume that the cast from the films (Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutchinson, Donald Sutherland, etc) were excellently placed.  After all, they were excellent in portraying characters of which I have little knowledge.  Call me what you'd like, but I can be easily pulled into an empathetic state while watching solid acting.  This film did not skimp in that category one iota.  What my lack of book knowledge gave me was not a negative opinion against the acting, rather the story line, which to me was very confusing.

Within this wasteland of a world, these people get chosen or volunteer to fight to the death...why???  What's even more bizarre is that apparently every 25 years they have a special hunger games, one which consists of the past hunger games victors.  So these people have to uproot themselves from whatever pitiful business they are responsible for, and have to battle against other victors, last man standing wins.  I have seen some weird plot lines before, but I don't get the purpose of the games, I'm sure this was explained at some point, but to then have to battle again every 25 years?  Please.  In the average game winners lifetime, they could potentially have to play the game 3 times, who wouldn't just shoot themselves in the foot and call it a day?  To make the story line problem worse, we got a very confusing plot twist revolving around a revolution against the government.  This is something I will not be touching on today boys and girls.

Adorable.

Now, as can be expected these days, Hunger Games is one of those C.G.I. heavyweights you've heard (read) me talking about.  This did both bad and good to the overall film.  For starters, the film world is way too elaborate and unreal for it to be able to avoid the overabundance of computer generated images.  On the flip flop, it didn't help because it makes things too unreal.  This only bothers me (I doubt it) a little but the fact is undeniably there.  Watch these C.G.I. hotshots and take a look at the movements and actions of people.  Sometimes you see things which don't add up, this is because of course when the actors arrive to the giant sound stage with little to no physical world to supplement the giant green wall behind them,  they will have difficulties syncing up their movements to what will be added in later.  Most of the time it gets cleaned up, but every once in a while you will see eye-lines off, or hands grabbing something which is too big or small for the grasp, etc.

 It appears as though Katniss had a conflict of interest.

So needless to say at this point, that I was a little put off by a lot of this film.  By no means am I saying this film was garbage, what I am saying is that in conjunction with the C.G.I. overload, the odd plot twists got to me.  I left the theater only able to say one thing, "Okay....."  Honestly, I had no clue what to think when the credits hit the screen.  Not to mention the fact that the film sort of just ended.  In the final scene of the film we were given some huge plot bomb, something which kind of wraps up the entirety of the film into one nice neat little understandable package, then BOOM black screen, role credits.

 Oh, were you expecting more?

Clearly this film was meant as a lead-in to the final book/movie.  I personally hate when this happens.  It's like the second Pirate's of the Caribbean film.  The first of this franchise's films could have been stand alone, worst case scenario.  They gave enough information and answered enough plot questions/concerns; wrapped things up in a nice little bow.  However, in the second installment, we were given more questions or twists and less helpful info, leaving the story in flux.  Clearly by the second film they knew there would be a full trilogy.

Now I'm sure the people at Lionsgate knew that the Hunger Games franchise would succeed as the full trilogy...ahem, I mean quadrilogy (the final book will be split into two films, jerks).  Having said this, I can't shake the feeling that the first Hunger Games film seemed more complete then its more recent sequel.  I don't know, maybe I'm losing my mind...doubt it.   Whatever the score may be, Catching Fire left me searching for more answers than I remember having upon the credits of the first film.

One thing is for sure though, I did hear from numerous people, friends and strangers, that these films have been relatively true to the books, this makes me have to applaud Lionsgate and the various people attached to the project.  More often than not when there is a film adaptation of a book, we usually find ourselves seeing things that the film maker's have added themselves.  I am not a fan of that.  Case in point: Jurassic Park, enough said.

 Oh, who am I kidding, I love you both!

Final Words: Large Popcorn
I'm going out on a limb here giving this score.  In my opinion it's a bit generous, however, having heard all I've heard regarding authenticity, I must give the film more credit.  After all, Catching Fire isn't the number 1 movie worldwide right now by accident.  If you have read the books and love the story, or just want to see something unique, check this one out, the bigger the screen the better.

Until next time, happy viewing!

Review Rating based on popcorn sizes: small, medium, large, extra-large; 

films worth skipping get snore...zzzzz

Ender's Game

There has been a film I have wanted to see for a long time, long before I knew it was being made.  My first encounter with this story was with the printed word.  That's right reader, I read books as well...sometimes.  In fact, this story belongs to a series of books, which were then turned into comic books, and most recently transformed into a big screen movie.  The story I am referring to is Ender's Game, but I'm sure you already knew that (look up).  The moment I heard this was becoming a film I got all geared up and ready to go.  I discussed the idea with friends, studied the IMDB to learn who was who, and made sure that I got to see it opening weekend (which I did, then I spent the next week plus writing this review).  Now if only Ender's Game the movie was as excited to be brought off the pages as I was to watch it.

Ender's Game has a very complicated story line, one which was probably too complicated to depict in a 2 hour film.  Think Lord of The Rings complicated, only Ender's Game wasn't spread between 3 x 3 hour films; this was both good and bad.  Good because the story may have seemed awkward if it were split, and parts maybe would have been too drawn out.  Not everything in the book was pertinent to the film.  Also, unlike LotR, EG was a less popular story, and not nearly as old, so this film really had to hit home or nothing.  Science fiction all though popular, is still a tough act to sell.  Now on the reverse of this, having one film was bad because the story is so complex that the 114 minutes (I rounded up before, sue me) of film time made the story too disjointed and condensed; there's a reason there's more than one book.  What took days, weeks and years in the book took one scene in the film or a hand full of minutes, making it seem as though the time frame was 10 weeks, not 10 years. Also, key elements to the character development in the book seemed to barely be touched upon.  One example to this, is that in the book, Ender was 6 years old when he began battle school, and graduated at 10 years old.  Upon graduating, he then moved onto command school.  In the film, Ender appeared to be around 12 years old, and the 4 years at battle school seemed to be a few weeks.  This kind of discrepancy in the story is subtle enough to move along the story, yet makes that same story difficult to follow properly, especially if you had read the book.

Say what?!!!!

When I was leaving the theater I overheard multiple people as they expressed negative feelings towards what they saw.  Now I don't know if these people had been around this story before or not, but I can assume that for people experiencing Ender's Game for the first time, this film seemed a little wacky.  I'm sure there were a few elements which made little to no sense to them, yet if they had read the book, then they would understand what was briefly shown.

What was shown was grandiose, beautiful, while being shockingly terrifying.  The look of Ender's Game was everything I wanted it to be and more.  Sean Haworth and Ben Procter, the film's Production Design team, took the words straight off the page and created a very accurate and beautiful look to the film.  AWESOME!!!!  I mean just the way the battle room functioned and appeared was what my brain screen depicted when I read this tale.

To infinity and beyond!

As mentioned above, the length of the film was problematic with a lot of these cool scenes and situations.  What wasn't problematic was the acting.  This film utilized actors whose faces you may not know, as well as some faces you'd know by the sound of their voice.  Starring as the main battle school kids were: Asa Butterfield as Andrew Ender Wiggin, Haillee Steinfeld as Petra Arkanian, Aramis Knight as Bean.  These names make up what I would consider the least known of the bunch, yet the most important to the story.  The actors whose names you would know include: Viola Davis as Major Gwen Anderson (Anderson was male in the book, pre-op of course), Sir Ben Kingsley as Mazer Rackham, and Harrison Ford as Han So...oh wait wrong film, I mean Colonel Graff.

Ender my boy, please come in.

Question: What do you get when you take a very successful yet somewhat crazy sci-fi story and throw in good acting, and the likes of that guy above?
Answer: Ender's Game the film.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anything about Oscars or awards for this film, but I am saying that the acting and presentation of the characters was beyond my expectations.  Most of this brilliant acting came not from the above pictured man, nor the other Academy Award recognized names mentioned in the previous paragraph, rather, Asa Butterfield.  This kid blew me away with his talent.  What you have to know about Ender Wiggin is that he is pushed through the paces at an extremely accelerated rate.  In the film I believe it is supposed to be around a month's time, but in the book, it is over the course of some years.  However, in both cases of this story short and long, it is quite a bit faster than all of the other children in the same program.  Ender is graduating the schools and positions years before he should.  So, one can imagine the amount of tension and pressure and emotion Ender would be under/go through, and this was conveyed very realistically through the acting abilities of Asa Butterfield.  



  

Final Words: Medium Popcorn 
Even though I had been waiting for years to see the Big Screen version of Ender's Game, that had little sway over what I had seen.  This was a good thing, since the bias wasn't there.  I think this film was a fine showing of the story, but not a great version.  I do think that the big screen lended itself to the grandness of battle school and the bugger invasion, but probably the early-bird time slot, not the bank-breaking slot.

Until next time, happy viewing!

Review Rating based on popcorn sizes: small, medium, large, extra-large; 

films worth skipping get snore...zzzzz

Captain Phillips

Attention reader, this is the Reviewer speaking, I have URGENT news.  At this current point in time, we have been entranced by a beautiful story of human endurance, ultimate fear, and tension, which has left us vulnerable to being captured by this epic thrill-ride.  So batten down the hatches, secure all lines, and prepare to be boarded.  Captain Phillips has taking control of my mind and thoroughly blown it with its original gripping story and heart pounding cinematics and emotional acting, and it will do the same to you.

As I'm sure most of you are aware, this film is based on a real-life event.  Captain Richard Phillips is an American freighter captain for the Maersk shipping line, specifically the ship Alabama.  He was on a routine job delivering all sorts of goods to a couple locations in Africa.  During his journey through the Indian Ocean around the horn of Africa, his ship was tracked and boarded by Somali pirates.  Ring a bell?  He was then held hostage for 5 days until the United States Navy in conjunction with the Navy Seals came into the picture to "handle the situation", and boy did they.

We just want to talk.

It's often problematic to have a film whose story is based on reality, especially a real life event which garnered so much international attention.  The problem stems from the inability to properly fill voids within the storyline.  In a fictitious story, the writer has the power to make anything and everything happen, creating a more fluid story arc.  When the film is based on reality, the writer's freedoms are less and often times parts of the story can't always be magical or perfectly suspenseful.  In the case of Captain Phillips, it is very safe to say that this story did not waiver or falter at any point.  Literally, for a film depicting the real life events on that unlucky freighter, it certainly felt as though what we were privy too was way complete, like a Tom Clancy story.

   Uhh...hmm...I guess...I guess I should have done more research.  I am embarrassed.

One thing which helped aide this story to the point of nail biting was the use of "shaky cam".  Now, normally I don't enjoy this "cinematic" technique, I feel it detracts from the image and story telling process.  However, I couldn't imagine this film without it.  From the very beginning to the final scene, we had this unsettling waiver in the picture.  Just a little constant motion from the camera which caused tension even before Phillips set foot on his doomed vessel.  Instilling a constant state of unease from start to finish.  What's more impressive by this, is that even during the scenes with heightened intensities, the camera stayed basically the same.  This allows for more tension and panic.  Since there's no tell-tale sign of what's to come, it also makes every circumstance just as important to the story as the next.

Now, what's a dramatic story without a stellar performance by the lead actor.  In this case that name rhymes with Mom Banks.  You got it reader, Tom Hanks took control of this performance and never let it go.  Literally, he was so good that by the resolution of this travesty, there were more than a few tears in the house, I even heard a few people sobbing.  The tension was so palpable for Captain Phillips (Tom Hanks) and he is so good at his craft (acting) that unless you are a heartless robot,  you're bound to feel empathy for this man and the terrible ordeal he faced.  In the final 5 minutes or so, I practically had to look away from the screen because Hanks was so believable in his abilities that it actually appeared as though he was suffering from real shock.  I know I've said this before, and I'm usually pretty close to being right about it, but I guarantee some form of Academy Award recognition for Hanks and this film.

We just have to make a quick stop in Africa, no problems...right?

Here's a little bit of info for you which I found incredibly surprising.  Cast across from the hugely famous, successful, well known Tom Hanks, was Barkhad Abdi.  What's that you say?  You've never heard of such a person?  Well neither has anybody else, except for this man's friends and family.  Abdi was working as a chauffeur when cast for this role.  He is originally from Somalia, how convenient huh?, and had moved away due to the country's conflict. Since the age of 14, however, he has resided in the United States, where he has actively not pursued acting.  That's right.  This man could truly walk the walk and talk the talk of a Somali native, thus was the perfect addition to this film, and let me tell you, for a man not trying to pursue acting as his career, he sure as hell was phenomenal in Captain Phillips.  The way these two played off each other seemed effortless, that is for two men trying to step into the shoes of other men.

 Look on the bright side, at least your first acting job was a success!

So far since beginning this endeavor into film reviewing, there have been truly only a hand full of films which have left me speechless, to an extent.  Of all of them, I have to say, that Captain Phillips is right up there with the best.  The upper echelon of pure awesomeness.   This film quite possible is one of the hardest films I have ever seen and experienced, yet one of the most solid.  

Final Words: Extra-Large Popcorn 
This film was nothing short of amazing.  It excelled in every facet of film-making and re-wrote the rules of how things should be.  This was the film I looked forward to for months and I'm pleased to tell you I was not let down.  I want to see this one again, and again, and again.  Masterful film!

Until next time, happy viewing!

Review Rating based on popcorn sizes: small, medium, large, extra-large; 

films worth skipping get snore...zzzzz

The Kings of Summer

So a film was brought to my attention recently, one which was nowhere close to being on my radar: The Kings of Summer.  This Official Selection of the 2013 Sundance Film Festival magically appeared at my local RedBox the other weekend and was then recommended to me by our CEO here.  So I [not so] quickly snatched it out of the machine and slapped it into my player at my overly impressive office.  What followed was something which is about as easily explained as...................

This film follows a group of teenage boys during their summer break from school.  This ragtag trio consists of the leader, Joe (Nick Robinson), the muscle/conscience, Patrick (Gabriel Basso), and the eccentric "entertainment", Biaggio (Moises Arias).  For different reasons these three young men decide that it is in their best interests to run away from their families and create a life for themselves in the woods just outside of their hometown.  The "revelation" to escape mainstream life stems from Joe, a typical teenager who makes it his mission to test the boundaries and see how far creating unnecessary "drama" will take him.  This drama revolves around his father, Nick Offerman, and his father's new girlfriend.  Joe makes it his mission to destroy his father's relationship with women and does a good job of ticking his father off.  Add to this some impressionable friends, additional teenage angst, 1 cup of water, wait 5 minutes, and BINGO! you have yourself an instant adventure/coming-of-age tale.

 It's fun for the whole family!

The thing I really enjoyed and hated about this film was the constant sense of carelessness or naivety from the boys.  They stole money, tools and supplies to build a haphazard "fort" type shelter, using stolen slides and porta-potty doors as they saw fit.  This made me uneasy since everything seemed so rushed and unnecessarily dangerous.  These boys didn't have any form of construction training or knowledge, even worse, they had no outdoors training.  They just pushed forward and "figured it out" when they hit a hurdle.  They thought they could wing it in the woods, kill some dinner and hang out.  Instead they relied on Boston Market for food and used their imaginations to convince themselves it was "caught".  They lived in this makeshift fort that looked like it was a shake, rattle and roll away from collapsing on them.  This frustrated me to all end and made me seriously wonder whether I made the right decision in viewing this adventure.  However, there was something freeing about their desire for solitude.  They took things upon themselves to create the life they felt was necessary to them.  They went forth with a vision and acquired it even without the intelligence or means needed to succeed properly; admirable personality traits amongst these boys.  
  

As can be imagined, this lack of knowledge and remote dwelling eventually became a significant problem to our team of misfits.  Hunger, the police (missing children draw a lot of attention), inner-turmoil amongst the guys, lack of funds for food, snakes, insanity, can all easily lead to self-destruction.  This was something which too drove me bananas.  One would think that once this "camp-out" got dangerous, the boys would pull-up shop and return to the world from which they originated.  Right?  Well this was the case for our brawny thinker and our eclectic show man, but not our fearless leader.  DUMB.  One man standing after being abandoned by his peers, left to fend for himself against the wild world?  It's like Home Alone, only less hijinks and paint can attacks.

 AAAGGGHHH!!! What an astute observation.

The Kings of Summer did offer something to 'We the Viewer' which I did not expect to see.  There were numerous imagined situations and sequences.  Things where we witnessed bizarre happenings within the film world, like a ninja battle between Joe and his father.  Day dream type visuals which added a comical/surreal feel to the story.  They were well done and enjoyable. Another thing was that the scenes were visually appealing.  I wanted to run away into these wooded ares myself, because it was so beautiful and picturesque.    The woods where the adolescent compound was located had beautiful views from ridge tops as well as valleys which had wide streams flowing through them.  These natural locations gave this film a very real and shrinking feel, like using California's naturally abundant redwood forests in Star Wars.

I say, there's a Boston Market just up this way. 

Beep-boop-beep!

 

Final Words: Medium Popcorn 

This film had a very Lost Boys feel while also giving you an extremely emotional ride.  Not a roller coaster but more like a ferris wheel.  Don't get me wrong, I am by no means saying this film was magical or fast paced, but it turned out to be pretty decent in the end.  Grown-up themes a plenty in this film, would advise against the young watching this one.

Until next time, happy viewing!

Review Rating based on popcorn sizes: small, medium, large, extra-large; 

films worth skipping get snore...zzzzz

The Bling Ring

OMG your shoes are soooo hot!  No way, your top is the best!  HAHAHAHAHA.  This is my personal hell world.  I don't want to be mean and I honestly have no problem with people who put a huge emphasis on fashion, like my fiance.  I love her for enjoying what she enjoys, but fashion is for her, not me.  I cannot relate to runway shows and fashion magazines and what's hot or not.  Why you ask?  It's simple, fashion has nothing to do with good beer, family, friends, or happiness, it's literally skin deep, and that just does not register on my scale.  Fast-forward to writing the review for The Bling Ring and I find myself faced with a struggle of epic proportion.  Normally words fall out of my head onto the page with ease, but.........uh........well........let's jump right in.

Now I know that I  seemed to have given this film a death warrant without much more than the lack of personal interest, but I assure you I take this writing very seriously and can look beyond the pettiness of labels and into the heart and soul of a film. 

 Not that kind of death warrant, uhhh.

Well for Bling Ring I can safely say that I was intrigued by the fact that this film was based on reality, meaning these things actually happened.  Every scene and circumstance literally left me speechless.  I just could not wrap my head around the fact that these teenagers had the gall to simply walk into someones home, wear their possessions and walk out with some souvenirs.  They acted as though they were entitled to these items, as if they purchased the pants, shoes, purses, etc. themselves. Who does this?  That behavior seemed to be out of left field making me want to know what major malfunction happened to these young people that lead them into thinking this was acceptable.  I mean to hear that someone famous, like Paris Hilton lol, was out of town and your first inclination was to find her address and trespass to steal her stuff?  Psshh please.

 Who wants to party on this?

To top it off, these dumb dumb's would take photos of themselves within the homes of their "victims" and post them online as well as tell their peers about their latest trip to Rachel Bilson's or flash the Louboutin's they swiped out of someones closet.  I'm no expert, but I believe that's about the most insane incriminating behavior.  It would be like filming yourself dealing drugs and then posting it online.  Seems to me that this is pretty damning evidence against you.  

As for the entirety of the story I must admit that this film was not the most entertaining.  Literally everything was about going to so and so's home and stealing stuff; another repetitious film for the books.  I guess a lot of this repeated behavior stemmed from these teenagers sheer boredom and their over-privileged upbringings, but still nothing more ever happened.  You would see them driving someones Porsche and wearing the clothes of their idols and then the cycle would repeat itself.  Talk about a film hugging that one dimensional parameter.  I think this could have made a better 1 hour special on CNN or a 60 minutes segment, but to make this into a feature was not exactly the most understandable thing to do.

What's bizarre is that this film was written and directed by Sophia Coppola, the same person who wrote and directed Lost in Translation and Marie Antoinette.  She even won an Oscar for Best Writing, as well as being nominated for Best Director, for Lost in Translation.  Here we have a proven writer/director, one with the right hardware, who put together a film so flat it seems as though it's from a different person all together.  Now I know Sophia Coppola has a niche for creating artsy films with non-typical characters and stories, so I can see why this real-life escapade attracted her, but The Bling Ring seems as though it's a completely different animal all together.

 Why you looking at me?

Another weird aspect to this film, is that the acting is actually pretty good.  Weird you say?  I say yes.  Normally when the acting is good, the film usually earns itself more credit in my review process.  However, with a story so odd and plot so twisted and seemingly unprovoked, this acting seems misplaced and improperly utilized.  The only name and face I recognized in the main group of felons was Emma Watson.  I know it sounds weird to think that Emma hung up her witching garb and donned some stolen duds, but this attraction to non-typecast roles has become a big thing today amongst the youth in Hollywood.  It's like those Disney girls leaving the security of Uncle Walt in search of some spring break festivities.  I know it must be tough being "trapped" in one role or type, but come on!  Not cool.

Final Words: Small Popcorn 
Even though my rant went on and on about the badness that was this film, those few things which I thought were admirable actually swayed my scoring of this just barely into the Popcorn realm.  It's always a gamble making a film about a real life story, and in the case of The Bling Ring, that gamble just paid off.  Wait for this one to grace your cable channels.

Until next time, happy viewing!

Review Rating based on popcorn sizes: small, medium, large, extra-large; 

films worth skipping get snore...zzzzz

This Is The End

So I know that I am a little late to the review party for This Is The End, after all, this film came out months ago, then went away, then came back, and is now available for purchase and rent.  Well, in my defense there have been quite a lot of good films out between then and now, which I know all you loyal readers have read, and my time is valuable...to me, so get off my back!*



*If you were not on my back, then don't worry, we're all good. 


I'm sure by this point most of you are aware this film lives in a realm of reality intermixed with fantasy, like unicorns.

Oh hey, just striking a pose here.

This Is The End stars: James Franco, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride, Jay Baruchel, and a million other people.  All of the actors, both listed above and the million not listed,  played themselves, or at least used their real names and referred to roles they have played in the past i.e. 127 Hours, Pineapple Express.  This created a kind of awkward comfort surrounding the plot; you feel as though you're a fly on the wall of celebrities and then hope it's a bad dream.  One of the issues I found with this real/fake whatever world was that I was constantly questioning what I was seeing, for instance: does Michael Cera really do cocaine at parties and become a giant turd?  The answer: I'm not sure, but it made me have to stop and think about it, and I don't like when my brain "hiccups" during the follow along process; I lose a step and feel pulled out of the story.  Like Mac's spinning wheel of death.

 Um hello?? 

As for the story of this film, it's really easy to say what was happening.  We follow all of these celebrities as they party away at James Franco's new house, until suddenly the world starts shaking and beams of blue light shoot down from the sky and suck select individuals up into the clouds, all the while, the rest of Hollywood is burning and people are going crazy.  For all 'We the Viewer' know the Laker's just won the championship, but really what we are witnessing is the End of Days, Biblically of course.

This must be Shaq's ring.

The story then takes a huge turn; within the Franco home we witness a huge social struggle between the names I listed above.  Each of these 6 dudes finds himself at one point in time faced with some form of animosity towards the others, whether it revolves around food, personal space, venturing outside, being attacked by Emma Watson, blah blah blah.  As this happens, we witness Jay Baruchel (pseudo main character) somehow identify what is happening and slowly spread his beliefs around the house, only to have his words fall upon scrutinous ears.  Well he manages to persuade them one by one, and eventually the film ends, semi-happily.

Now one thing about this film which surprised me a lot was the quality of acting.  I know this sounds weird, after all we are talking about many of the same actors from Pineapple Express.  However, these gentlemen succeeded in conveying true fear, panic, exhaustion, remorse, anguish, etc. etc. etc.  Who knew they were actual actors and not just funny guys?  So, bravo to their versatility!

Don't look surprised guys, that's my job.

The problem I had with this film was that it was super hyped to me from many people.  Needless to say my expectations were very high for this film and apparently I needed to be very high to see where that hype belonged.  The problem with stoner comedies is that, from time to time, a lot of the intended and situational humor revolves around the notion that 'We the Viewer' are ourselves stoned.  So if you were like me, not stoned while watching this, then a lot of the "schtick" was sort of flat.  Don't get me wrong, I loved watching Michael Cera get impaled by a street lamp and dragged down into the worlds abyss and seeing Jonah Hill on fire, but seeing grown men cower in a corner from whatever it was they were cowering from, not necessarily the funniest thing.  Having said this, I feel a lot of these issues were fixed by the world's most bizarre ending.  This my dear reader, I will leave for you to find out.  Popcorn or Snore's Back Alright!



Final Words: Medium Popcorn 

This film got to be a little dry and extremely senseless, yet something kept me wanting to see more.  As can be expected the language, many of the scenes, and quite a lot of the special effects were not suitable for the young, squeamish, weak at heart, Churchy, or anybody with strong morals.  If you were not mentioned, or don't care, go ahead and see this, you may find it more enjoyable, but possibly less.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Until next time, happy viewing!

Review Rating based on popcorn sizes: small, medium, large, extra-large; 

films worth skipping get snore...zzzzz